5 lessons I learned in 2023 as a First Time Mom

I cannot believe it’s been over a year since I’ve last written here. That’s the longest I’ve been absent from this blog since I first created it in 2010. Becoming and adjusting to my new mom identity made me re-prioritize and value how I spend my time, since time is so limiting now. Writing here dropped off my list of priorities. Luke is now 18-months so things are way more manageable, but I’ll likely still not write here often since blogging is archaic these days. With the new year though, I felt like doing some reflection.

I’m going to keep this short and sweet since I hear my baby wailing downstairs.

5 Lessons I learned in 2023 after becoming a Mom

  • Time is precious, free time is limiting
    • Time is our most valuable asset, and getting stuck in the routine of cleaning, cooking, work, etc makes time slip even faster.
    • It’s important to plan outings, and trips to escape the mundane routine and create new memories. When you think about how you spent your year, you never think about the things you did on the daily, its the celebrations, outings and unique activities you often reflect (and take photos) of.
    • Carve out time on things that fill your cup, even if it’s just 15-minutes a day otherwise you’re going to feel drained and defeated. For me, that’s my morning yoga, nighttime skincare routine, and trying to have 1 social outing per week.
  • Protect your mental space
    • Mom brain happens because of the mental load we carry, thinking about a thousand things at once. Alleviate tasks by writing things down or delegating tasks to your partner/others
    • Let go of things that no longer (or should no longer) matter. After becoming a mom I really stopped giving a F about drama, and let go of past grudges. You really don’t have the capacity to care about bulls*t anymore which becomes freeing.
  • Keep work, at work
    • If you’re a working mom, do your best at work. When you’re done with work, check-out and don’t think about work. It’s not worth it.
    • Not to get morbid, but I often hear that people on their death bed never regret working more, they often regret not spending more time with their kids and people they love more.
  • It’s ok to outgrow relationships that no longer serve you
    • It’s honestly so hard to maintain all your relationships after becoming a mom because of how limiting your time and energy is. Some people are also not baby people (which is fine) but if friends don’t want to be around this new chapter in your life, and don’t support you in it, attempting to keep them around will cause you more harm than good
  • Make mom friends
    • The bond and camaraderie moms share is unlike anything because the process of matrescence is life-changing. I feel like I have a deep sense of connection now with other moms.
    • The ability to just “get it” without having to explain or feel bad is a luxury that moms deserve, and something we get with other moms. It’s also mutually beneficial because your kid can play with another kid, while you get to have some adult bonding time.

To be honest I entered the new year feeling down. I had FOMO from not doing or getting invited to do anything for New Years, am sick of constantly getting sick from my toddler, and feel distance growing between me and certain relationships because we’re in different chapters. I’ve been attempting to balance everything and put in effort when I remember and have energy for it, but trying to keep up with it has been draining me. So I wrote the above to also remind myself that it’s ok to let-go of things that take up my time and energy and don’t deserve it. I need to enjoy this season with my family because this baby stage is so short in the grand scheme of things, and I’ll never get this time back.

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